George Carlin, on children.
Posted on October 15, 2007 at 10:45 am.
I found the below text in a forum thread that was talking about censorship in games. I'm posting it here because it is funny and quite meritorious on its own.
Something else I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid talk I have to listen to about children. That's all you hear about anymore, children: "Help the children, save the children, protect the children." You know what I say? Fuck the children!
They're getting entirely too much attention. And I know what some of you are thinking: "Jesus, he's not going to attack children, is he?" Yes he is! He's going to attack children. And remember, this is Mr. Conductor talking; I know what I'm talking about.
And I also know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who think you're such fucking heroes, aren't gonna like this, but somebody's gotta tell you for your own good: your children are overrated and overvalued, and you've turned them into little cult objects. You have a child fetish, and it's not healthy. And don't give me all that weak shit, "Well, I love my children. "Fuck you! Everybody loves their children; it doesn't make you special. : : : John Wayne Gacy loved his children. Yes, he did. But, that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is this constant, mindless yammering in the media, this neurotic fixation that suggests that somehow everything--everything--has to revolve around the lives of children. It's completely out of balance.
Listen, there are a couple of things about kids you have to remember. First of all, they're not all cute. In fact, if you look at 'em real close, most of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. The little ones in particular seem to have a kind of urine and sour-milk combination that I don't care for at all. Stay with me on this folks, the sooner you face it the better off you're going to be.
Second, premise: not all children are smart and clever. Got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners, a whole lot of losers! This country is filled with loser kids who simply...aren't...going...anywhere! And there's nothing you can do about it, folks. Nothing! You can't save them all. You can't do it. You gotta let 'em go; you gotta cut 'em loose; you gotta stop over-protecting them, because your making 'em too soft.
Today's kids are way too soft. : : : For one thing, there's too much emphasis on safety and safety equipment: childproof medicine bottles, fireproof pajamas, child restraints, car seats. And helmets! Bicycle, baseball, skateboard, scooter helmets. Kids have to wear helmets now for everything but jerking off. Grown-ups have taken all the fun out of being a kid. : : : What's happened is, these baby boomers, these soft, fruity baby boomers, have raised an entire generation of soft, fruity kids who aren't even allowed hazardous toys, for Chrissakes! What ever happened to natural selection? Survival of the fittest? The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own. Simple stuff. Nature knows best!
Comment on this post - 1 existing comments.
Game #117 - Half-Life 2: Episode 1
Posted on October 14, 2007 at 3:48 pm.
Just finished Half-Life 2: Episode 1. It felt like just more of HL2, so I am not hugely impressed with it, but nevertheless it is still pretty good.
Added it to my list under number 117.
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
Game #116 - Portal.
Posted on October 13, 2007 at 11:56 am.
Just beat Portal a few seconds ago! It has one of the most hilarious writing of all the games I've played.
It is now number 116 on my list and I love it!
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
Nobel piss prize.
Posted on October 12, 2007 at 9:29 am.
It's no sensation that the Nobel Peace Prize is the most pathetic award that is given for the worst sort of knavery to the utterly disgusting swine. (Exceptions exist of course.)
To add one more of those to the total head count, Al Gore has now joined the likes of Yasser Arafat.
Congratulations in your Piss Prize, Al.
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
Game #115 - Half-Life 2: Lost Coast
Posted on October 7, 2007 at 10:34 am.
It is just one short level, but it is a separate one so it qualifies as an expansion pack, albeit an unusually small one.
Soooo... it is my game number 115 on the list.
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
Game #114 - Half-Life 2
Posted on October 7, 2007 at 12:04 am.
Finished Half-Life 2 just now. It is my game number 114 and I added it to my list.
I liked the beginning a lot. The end is not bad, but pretty inconclusive. The game itself is a really nice one as far as shooters with a story go.
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
A dilemma.
Posted on October 5, 2007 at 10:39 am.
I am faced with a real dilemma. At this point I am interested at what other people think about the situation.
There is a person who drinks heavily and then drives around in a large and heavy SUV. That person's infant child is also in that car most of the time. This is done habitually, month after month. Clearly that person is a danger to self, the child and the society at large, including me.
I genuinely feel that turning that person in, is the right thing to do.
HOWEVER!
I am extremely afraid, that if I do something like this once, I will then be tempted to do it again. It scares me that it could be the first step on the road to becoming the type of person who spends all day spying on his neighbors and then reports them for the smallest of offenses.
What do you think?
Comment on this post - 4 existing comments.
Suiside interferes with gov-mint work.
Posted on October 5, 2007 at 8:33 am.
So this good old city council drives a man to suicide. Happens every day, nothing strange about it.
But...
There were reports of council members sobbing in the hallway immediately after. That is genuinely irregular and strange. Everyone would understand if they were giggling, but sobbing... why?
Well I figure, they wouldn't be sobbing if the dude went home and shot himself there. If they felt like it they may have passed some kind of a resolution regarding that. Or if they were busy they would just go on with their business.
So why did some of them sob?
Because the insignificant peon has dared to ruin their important schedules with his petty suicide, that's why! And also because he bled all over their chamber. Very ungentleman-like of him.
If you are ever driven to suicide by your government, please be a good sport about it. Go home and kill yourself there. Thank you.
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
What's been censored.
Posted on September 28, 2007 at 11:19 am.
Meet a bruxa. She likes birds and singing. She is also one of the most dangerous kinds of vampires. She can turn into a bat, can strike with a powerful acoustic attack and her claws and fangs are not to be ignored either. Being a vampire she doesn't have much use for clothing.
And that is why she is not welcome in the United States.
The image below shows her as she will appear in all the versions of The Witcher (a computer game), except an American one.
For the US version she is going to get dressed. Frankly we'd put a burqa on her, but we are presently at war with a bunch of Muslims and don't want to give them any ideas. That's the only reason she'll get away with a mere bikini.
In my interview with the chief designer of The Witcher last month, we touched on the issue of censorship in America and Germany. Since then, Germany has decided to not censor the game.
Think about it though. Bruxa in a burqa, what symbolism!!!
Comment on this post - 1 existing comments.
Movie - Princess Mononoke.
Posted on September 26, 2007 at 2:21 pm.
Saw it yesterday and LOVED it!
Comment on this post - 0 existing comments.
God is like Santa Claus for adults.
Subscribe to RSS feed.